About me. by Sunaye January 24, 2015 at 2:01 AM UTC
Thank you to DoctaPop for giving me the motivation to make this post.Hello, I've decided to make a post explaining a little bit about my life and my condition. You will get the answers for: "How is he online all the time" , "Hes homeschooled I think". I'll take it from the beginning so it won't be that hard to follow. When I was in 4th grade I started to develop some sort of fear for going to school. Not because of bullying cause that actually never has happened to me and never will. But actually just afraid of what people might think of you. I mean I got up in the morning and though, "but they will think I'm stupid or ugly or something". Even though that would would not happen. The fear was still there and it prevented me from going to school occasionally. In 5th grade it just got worse I'd miss up to 2 - 3 days per week. And at this time I was taking gymnastics 21 hours a week. So that stress building up with anxiety eventually led to depression. After that year I was diagnosed with Autism. Most people know what that is some maybe not but I'm not going to go into detail. Most people use jokes about it and at the same tme know nothing abiht this sydrome. I was diagnosed with a typical aitism meaning that my aitism was very high. Basically the lower the harder and.higher you have more knowledge and are able to do more. According to them... But anyways. After 5th grade I started taking therapy twice a week. I went to multiple different places and camp type things. I had changed school by now and was going in 6th grade. At first it was going fine then 3 months later, boom. Down I go. I started constantly saying I hate my life and I wanted to die. This went on for the rest of 6th grade and eventually I did not go to school for a whole semester. And the same time I had issues at home and gymnastics to worry about. This unfortunetly led up to multiple talks of committing suicide, and 2 suicide attempts. By then I had been taking an antin depression pill for 1 year. Yet it was still there. I had so much crap going on in my life I did not know what to do with my self. I easily got angry at my family and constantly swearing at them I was violent and sad. When I gt angry I used to climb up onto ourb house and sit there. I had the police come to get me down once not due to the fact that I didn't know how to get down but that I broken two windows at my house. My dad did not know what to do at this point. So the only choice was to call. Back to school, I never knew how to make friends hown to fit in and how to addapt. I never hung out with anyone after school and I never was in contact. I was alone and had nothing but my friends at gymnastics. And at this time I was close to quitting the sport. After becoming second in the second highest class/level in my country.. The sport just got to hard. It helped me cause it diverted lots of my anger into concentration and determenation. It helped me with my depression so after I quit I was so depressed that I just didn't know anymore. I'd randomly wake up at nigbt and start crying for no reason. One thing that helped me with my depression the most were my cats. They made feel good aboht my self and above all calm and relaxed. So by now I have missed a whole year of school. And half of that year I started playing Avicus again. At that time I was either 12 or 13. After summer break 2014 I had changed to another achool by now a private school with 7 students and 4 teachers. All of these students having equal issues of there own. So we arranged something with one of the teachers that he would come home to me and teach me. He said you don't even have to think aboht going to school. Eventually we made progress and started to go 1 day a week 2 days a week and so on. So currently I go to school 4 days a week from 8:30 - around 2:30 - 3:30.. Never felt so good about my self in a long time. so for once I''m doing Preety good.
Avicus: I was once perm banned on MC zone and did not get unbanned untill that start of Avicus. I became a regular and like the server a lot Allthough I had only made a couple of friends. It was the best feeling I have ever had IronSoldier2000 and buster_U were one of my first friends to ever have on Avicus. And believe it or not I don't know if I convinced them to join TS or if they convinced me or we just all convinced each otber. During this time I was going through my depression stage and Avicus really helped me . Since it was the only place I actually have any friends. 3 months or so later. I'm 10th on the all time leaderboards, and known player by quite a lot of people. Then I decided to apply for staff. And here I am now. Avicus has made a big impact on my life and I want to thanks everyone in the community for there friendship. At some times it's all I had to hold on to. And now I'm going 4 days a week playing MC with mates and buying shit from IKEA.
So so yeah that's that you don't have to read this all if you don't want to. Just wanted to explain. I'm not the best with words either and I hope that all of your questions have been answered. If you do have any important ones you can ask me and I'll happily try and answer them the best way I can.
I really love you guys and thank you for everything.
D00ZiE January 24, 2015 at 2:01 AM UTC
We're always here for you Sunny <3Sunaye January 24, 2015 at 2:01 AM UTC
Sorry for sloppy grammar typing on phone is not my specialty.cinammoncroc000 January 24, 2015 at 2:01 AM UTC
I have to say, this was really a moving story. Thank you for sharing. I'm sure it took a lot of courage and bravery to post. I'm glad that I was able to read it all, and that you were able to share it all with us.Keep in mind that we're always here for you. No one here is going to judge you in the slightest :)
Tarheelkiwi January 24, 2015 at 2:01 AM UTC
Very motivating. Keep up the good work <3Lavish January 24, 2015 at 2:01 AM UTC
Wow, no one should have to go through what you have went through Sunny, I'm glad you are doing better, it takes a lot of strength and courage to keep going even when you feel like giving up. Stay strong and keep up the hard work! <3IviFetita January 24, 2015 at 2:01 AM UTC
Aweh <3You are much strong and brave for post it. You are loved here ;)
MajestysDream January 24, 2015 at 2:01 AM UTC
This was indeed touching and brave of you to post. I hope you get better. The entire Avicus community got your back. :) <3Dyspa January 24, 2015 at 2:01 AM UTC
Wow, I never thought this was your IRL situation, I feel like a fucking bullly for saying you had to take a break because you were playing a lot, hope you forgive me some day. This post actually made me look dumb and it also made me feel happy because I know now the human himself can beat any type of problem.I'm SO sorry for that negativity I have so I won't bother you anymore.
Hope you forgive me buddy :P
- Juano
P.S: I read all the text if you're wondering c:
Sevoo January 24, 2015 at 2:01 AM UTC
Man, I thought I was going trough tough things...Very inspiring Sunny, now I know your not just lazy or wont get a job or anything like that, and Im sorry for ever thinking something as horrible at that.
Lets start anew and know each other better.
Glitchaye January 24, 2015 at 2:01 AM UTC
Love you sunny <3Mooch24 January 24, 2015 at 2:01 AM UTC
you're one tough sob sunriseRefuseToSink January 24, 2015 at 3:01 AM UTC
Love you Sunrise<3 always here for you dude ;-)Porkyyy January 24, 2015 at 3:01 AM UTC
This was very touching Sunny, I appreciate that you are sharing this with us.You're a great moderator Sunny, don't forget that we care about you!
OPTOBAT January 24, 2015 at 3:01 AM UTC
Holy shit... jesus christ man I'm sorry to hear everything about this..At the same time i can't explain the level of respect i have for the courage you had to post this :)
I mean when life throws this kind of stuff at you it really comes down to those who cannot overcome the problems and those who propel themselves beyond the worst of times, and it seems to me like you've done that to a nice extent.
thanks for sharing this sun :)
connor4961 January 24, 2015 at 4:01 AM UTC
I am soo impressed in you sunrise. You have the courage to stand up and let your friends know about your personal life. That takes a lot of strength, we are always here when you need us <3vladthegreat100 January 24, 2015 at 4:01 AM UTC
Wow, never thought you were that type of guy who would go in depression o.o you seem so enthusiastic and outgoing! But remember, we will always be here for you whenever you fall, and will always help you get back up whenever you need it <3goldenwalrus909 January 24, 2015 at 4:01 AM UTC
That was freaking awesomeI love it when people are open c:
Thomas_Shoes January 24, 2015 at 4:01 AM UTC
Depression can hit anyone, but people with depression are typically more creative, spontaneous (which apparently you are), and more likely to grow up to be famous!You are a perfect example of showing autism can be a blessing.
Keep it up man!
chaibrit1 January 24, 2015 at 4:01 AM UTC
Be my gymnastics buddy??In all seriousness though, thanks for sharing your story, I didn't know you've gone through so much. Remember, we're all here for you. :)
kycrafft January 24, 2015 at 4:01 AM UTC
- <3
- <3
Stimulating January 24, 2015 at 4:01 AM UTC
gl m8. Been through some of the same experiences, but I've never been really depressed, but have seen others that have been. It's never easy. Autism is also very misunderstood and the insane ignorance surrounding it stuns me. People use "Autistic" as an insult for retardation? Actually, I did a bit of research on it, and some of the smartest people to live are actually Autistic, including Albert Einstein and Isaac Newton. Beethoven as well I believe. Actually studies show that Autistic people generally have above-average IQs. So quite the opposite of what it's used as an insult to represent. OK so now that that that mini-rant is over...Keep your head up and always think of your friends. I've had some difficulties as well, nothing as bad, but I've got through them, and what I've truly learned, as cliché as it sounds, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. And if you fall, all your friends here got your back. Know I will too, as long as there's no disrespect between us or anything I got you, regardless of how well I know you.
There's always a reason to live, remember that.
Out2Kill January 24, 2015 at 4:01 AM UTC
Speechless.NovaLikesPvP January 24, 2015 at 5:01 AM UTC
Wow, I never thought this was your IRL situation, I feel like a fucking bullly for saying you had to take a break because you were playing a lot, hope you forgive me some day. This post actually made me look dumb and it also made me feel happy because I know now the human himself can beat any type of problem.
I'm SO sorry for that negativity I have so I won't bother you anymore.
Hope you forgive me buddy :P
- Juano
P.S: I read all the text if you're wondering c:
FrostedCupcakez January 24, 2015 at 5:01 AM UTC
Aweh Sunrise, this is a really touching and sweet story. You're an inspiration, if you ever need to talk or need help you can add me on Skype :) Stay strong <3StewieFG January 24, 2015 at 5:01 AM UTC
Sunny, this story is amazing. I honestly don't care if you are homeschooled, have autism, you will always be the best and nicest person in teamspeak, so funny to talk with you, just keep being yourself like that. Thanks for sharing the story <3Ogrey January 24, 2015 at 6:01 AM UTC
I'm simply speechless... Sunny we all love you like family and you can count on us for anything man <3Atheyna January 24, 2015 at 6:01 AM UTC
I appreciate you sharing this story with us, and having the courage to do so. The Avicus community always has your back, and don't give up.PublixEmployee January 24, 2015 at 6:01 AM UTC
I am very happy to see that my post inspired you, it makes me feel really good... Just wanted to see that.Anyways, you are a great person as a whole and that is really enough said.
Love you bb.
JorgeMC January 24, 2015 at 8:01 AM UTC
We all here for you <3Buster_U January 24, 2015 at 8:01 AM UTC
;o Luv ya so much sunny c: U were also one of my first friends and im glad we are still friends :D. You are one of my best friends ( or my best ) on avicus, and I hope it stays that way too :D. Just remember, what everyone else has said, we all LUV ya and u are like family to us :3. I hope I can meet u someday ^^-^^. Ur one hell of a funny guy, especially ur laugh, :P and super sweet too :D. I hope we can get the Shoulder Buddies up and running again ^^-^^. Also as everyone else has said, If u wanna talk im also free ^^^_^^ except when im sleeping but ya know. So what u have autism? I have friends irl with autism and such. I super bad anxiety and props ADHD. Having something like autism doesn't define a person, and I hope u remember that :D. I hope u never leave avicus ;c That would make me cri... a lot.... like tons... and if u do, I hope we can still remain friends on snapchat and maybe even facebook XDD. ALSO as everyone else has said, u are an inspiration ^^^_^^^. WE LUV YA SUNNY as I have said before.I know my English is bad, don't judge ;cballzi January 24, 2015 at 8:01 AM UTC
Dude.. Don't worry I would hate to lose something as bright as you. ( Pun intended ;0)Spoookeh January 24, 2015 at 10:01 AM UTC
So brave of you to post sunny, we have had a few banterous times on avicus and teamspeak and just to let you know we are all here for you.BelgiumWaffles January 24, 2015 at 11:01 AM UTC
Because of u i wanna tell my life story to!TortouseMincer January 24, 2015 at 12:01 PM UTC
<3 This was really moving SunnyMissCarmel January 24, 2015 at 1:01 PM UTC
The world needs more sunrise's :) this was so moving and thanks for always being a friend to me and everyone else on teamspeak :p without friends like you I'd probably have leaved long agoJerseys January 24, 2015 at 1:01 PM UTC
A tear just came out of my eye.TheMasterClock January 24, 2015 at 1:01 PM UTC
Very brave and touching to post this. Sunrise you are always the best! <3Robin_DD_J January 24, 2015 at 2:01 PM UTC
Once I was alone in ts, and from no where.. you joined! It pretty much felt like you had no doubt just joining me while playing.. So this post was kind of surprisingAanszo January 24, 2015 at 3:01 PM UTC
Wow, this was so moving. We never knew each other much, but this touched my organs. Just luck when youre walking on the road and your shoe gets gum stuck to it, we are here for you. And we won't leave you alone! <3zdq January 24, 2015 at 4:01 PM UTC
;-; T_T...I'm glad that everything is better for you :D
Rainstruck January 24, 2015 at 4:01 PM UTC
Even though I haven't known you for that long m8, I'm really glad that I got to know you as well!BoldAndBrash January 24, 2015 at 4:01 PM UTC
nice job sunrise ;) i can tell it's hard to get through that<3
mustafa January 24, 2015 at 5:01 PM UTC
I see you've been through a lot and it must've taken you a lot of courage to make this post. Just know that we ate here for you!- Luv Hanif
_Jupiter January 24, 2015 at 6:01 PM UTC
I don't know you very well but that was super brave to post that <3Sunaye January 25, 2015 at 1:01 PM UTC
Once I was alone in ts, and from no where.. you joined! It pretty much felt like you had no doubt just joining me while playing.. So this post was kind of surprising
badgg January 25, 2015 at 1:01 PM UTC
Being social on the Internet is much easier for me the being social in real life. For instance I really hate party's and stuff like that.
Derumisis January 27, 2015 at 12:01 AM UTC
We're all here for you ;)Splades January 27, 2015 at 3:01 PM UTC
I never knew, I'm so sorry. People were saying you were diagnosed with autism and I thought they were joking so even I got mad. I feel bad for saying things like "Are you autistic?" and stuff like that. I've stopped making jokes related to down syndrome and autism. I'm so sorry I never knew, I feel like such a bully :(Also I'm really sorry for calling you things like "no-lifer" in the past. Sorry Sunny and I hope you forgive me :(
Jerseys January 27, 2015 at 6:01 PM UTC
Sunrise is that friend I never lost. <3Robin_DD_J January 27, 2015 at 8:01 PM UTC
Being social on the Internet is much easier for me the being social in real life. For instance I really hate party's and stuff like that.
PokerFace January 27, 2015 at 8:01 PM UTC
I'm sorry for you Sunny. However, we should all learn to be more social. You can't live a life without social skills forever.Glitchaye January 27, 2015 at 9:01 PM UTC
Being social on the Internet is much easier for me the being social in real life. For instance I really hate party's and stuff like that.
Sunaye January 27, 2015 at 9:01 PM UTC
I'm sorry for you Sunny. However, we should all learn to be more social. You can't live a life without social skills forever.
Awarrior January 27, 2015 at 9:01 PM UTC
It was probably extremely hard to talk about this...but thanks for making this thread and explaning your condition to us so precisely.
I really do wish you the best with your problem and I hope that, in the future, once you get a job, you will be able to go for anything and will be allowed to. You've proven yourself to be an excellent mod even if you have this ''condition''.
In no way am I going to look at you differently after reading this thread. You're an amazing person and always will be.
_Mx_ January 27, 2015 at 9:01 PM UTC
This was really brave to post. I don't think I've met you yet but this was so moving and inspirational that now I want to. You seem to have had it tough. Have a great 2015 =)SWEET_Johny January 28, 2015 at 1:01 AM UTC
Very inspirational. It takes a truly strong person to stay upright throughout this. We've all got your back here. <3Myv January 28, 2015 at 7:01 PM UTC
Sunny.To be honest, I'm really glad that you didn't die from trying to commit suicide - you are actually one of the bubbliest, friendliest people I have ever met, to be honest. You are always caring, and you are funny on Avicus, even if you do ignore us (:D) but I'm really glad that you found this great server to brighten up your life with and you have been a great leader for us - you have been one of the yardsticks on McZone and Avicus, one of the best.
Don't think that having autism will effect you - think positive about life, we all have our bad moments, even if it doesn't stretch to the extents you have done. Autism does not mean that you cannot still do great in life - work hard, and you will earn a good education and will be successful in life, with money, a partner and maybe even children - make friends, ignore the haters, Sunny.
Thanks for writing this, because it has shown us that we must understand how your life has been and we must respect that. Carry on with what your doing Sunny, you're doing great, I promise, and everyone on Avicus is backing you up.
Thanks sunrise, it's been great with you so far, I hope you stay for a long time.
<3
RightSide January 28, 2015 at 7:01 PM UTC
Aw all of this and your strong now!JJTheGuy January 28, 2015 at 10:01 PM UTC
I'm here for you dude. At least you never got bullied... IRL friends... Yeah, stick to your online friends IMO, most of them have never caused anything except for trouble for me. But, if you do, try and befriend girls first. That's what I did... Never regretted that. They will normally be sympathetic, and help you. They are also very nice... That's just my input though. Glad you're getting better. ^-^source_route January 29, 2015 at 5:01 AM UTC
thats deep, avicus FTW, stay strong sunnykillerbye22 January 29, 2015 at 2:01 PM UTC
