Jack and Rob are hiking. Jack falls over and is not breathing. Rob freaks out. He dials 911.
Rob: Hello? My friend just died, I need help! 911: Okay, first, we need to make sure he's dead before we can do anything. *the 911 guy hears a gunshot through th phone speaker* Rob: Okay, now what?
Jack and Rob are hiking. Jack falls over and is not breathing. Rob freaks out. He dials 911.
Rob: Hello? My friend just died, I need help! 911: Okay, first, we need to make sure he's dead before we can do anything. *the 911 guy hears a gunshot through th phone speaker* Rob: Okay, now what?
An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked, what happened and the man explained. "Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing." The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?" The old man replied, "Yep, none of us could get the jar open."
An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked, what happened and the man explained. "Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing." The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?" The old man replied, "Yep, none of us could get the jar open."
An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked, what happened and the man explained. "Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing." The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?" The old man replied, "Yep, none of us could get the jar open."
2 blondes are bush walking and come across a set of tracks. The first blonde says that they're deer tracks, and the second believes they belong to a bear.
After 30 minutes of arguing they were hit by a train
2 blondes are bush walking and come across a set of tracks. The first blonde says that they're deer tracks, and the second believes they belong to a bear.
After 30 minutes of arguing they were hit by a train
Jack and Rob are hiking. Jack falls over and is not breathing. Rob freaks out. He dials 911.
Rob: Hello? My friend just died, I need help! 911: Okay, first, we need to make sure he's dead before we can do anything. *the 911 guy hears a gunshot through th phone speaker* Rob: Okay, now what?
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"[4]
There's the official wording. Maybe it was the way I typed it that confused you. :p
One day, a hunter was walking in the woods, he came upon a gorilla. The hunter fired his first arrow at it, the gorilla caught it in his right hand. Then the hunter fired his second arrow, the gorilla caught it in his left hand. The hunter sighed and left because he used all his arrows. But before he could get 20 feet away from the gorilla, the heard a large thump and rushed back. The gorilla had fallen and he was dead! Why?
Answer: I'll let you figure it out yourself, HINT: What do gorillas do when they are happy or overexcited?
An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked, what happened and the man explained. "Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing." The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?" The old man replied, "Yep, none of us could get the jar open."
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